Yesterday I turned 30 and I have to say that this past week has been a major time of personal reflection for me. Almost the beginning of a mid-life crisis (even though it is a little too early for that). I know that 30 years isn’t that old, but I have been looking forward into my future and feel an impending dread and doom. I am realizing that next 20 years are going to fly by and that our lives on this earth are really just a wisp. 20 years is just 20 Christmas seasons… and then I will be 50. And even though 50 isn’t that old either, I don’t want to hit 40 or 50 and know that I had this great calling that I never acted on.
There is something big inside of me that I have been needing to get out; a contribution to the world that I know I was designed to provide. I have an internal ache and calling that has been hidden by a subtle fear of being misunderstood, rejected, and unable to provide for my beautiful wife and sons. Submitting to this fear, I have allowed a normal working adult life take over and let my passion and calling die. But I now realize that unless I start now, my potential for any type of world impact is going to diminish with every year that passes. Then, eventually, I too will become just another name on a piece of paper, unknown even by my great great grandkids, disappearing into the folds of time. To be honest I don’t know how it is all going to happen, but I am going to start taking steps. Small calculated steps, one day at a time, in hopes that this cumulation of work is going to turn into something big.
So as I have been in all of this reflection, I have made a couple 30th year resolutions that I intend to keep.
- I am going to finish writing my book this year. It is a book about my life stories and what the Lord has taught me through them. My hope is that God will use this book to help more people than I would ever be able to help face to face. It will be jammed packed with stuff and very entertaining… so keep your eyes peeled.
- I am going to lose 20-30lbs. This doesn’t mean I am going to be vain in my pursuit to look good and be more likeably hot. I admit that I have an insatiable draw to food and eating, and I want this family curse to be broken. I don’t want to sit on my butt in front of the television and watch my stomach get larger and larger, knowing that all I need to do is start moving and watch my calorie intake. So yesterday I started the first of many morning jogs in my neighborhood, listening to my ipod and plodding along while breathing like a freight train.
- I am going to promote my photography business more. I have been hesitant to promote it because I don’t want to look like one of those people that is always trying to sell stuff and make it big. But there is a reality, my family and I have to eat, and business has not picked up as needed… either because I am not talented enough or I haven’t promoted it enough. And since no one has told me that I am a lousy photographer yet, I have to go with promoting the business. So please don’t be offended when you start seeing stuff from Daniel Holman Studios.. I will try my best to make it interesting. Just know that I am simply trying to make a living.